Once Upon a Mattress..
I didn’t know a play called “Once Upon a Mattress” existed, and am almost happy it received the reviews it did based on the plot synopsis below. The reviews: VERY mixed. In other words, it was horrible. But hey, anyone that can feel a pea (or weapons) through 20 mattresses is fine by me! But they wouldn’t have if they were memory foam mattress…
Once Upon a Mattress takes place in a fictional medieval kingdom ruled by the devious Queen Aggravaine and the mute King Sextimus the Silent. King Sextimus suffers from a curse that can only be reversed “when the mouse devours the hawk.” As the show opens,(Many Moons Ago) the populace of the castle complains about an unjust law levied by Queen Aggravaine. She is testing Princess #12; to the queen’s delight, the princess misses the last question (“What was the middle name of the daughter-in-law of the best friend of the blacksmith who forged the sword that killed the beast [the dragon killed by St. George]?”) and is given a dead bird. The law states that no one may wed until the Prince, Dauntless the Drab, first marries (“throughout the land no one may wed, ’till Dauntless down the altar led”) . However, every petitioning princess is sent away after failing an unfair test devised by the Queen. It seems that no one is good enough to marry Prince Dauntless. (Opening for A Princess)
The crisis escalates when the leading knight of the realm, Sir Harry, discovers that his girlfriend, Lady Larken, is pregnant. Facing great embarrassment and loss of his station, Sir Harry embarks on a quest to find the last princess in the realm. (In A Little While) He soon returns with Princess Winnifred the Woebegone, a brash, unrefined, and muscular princess from the marshlands. She immediately charms Dauntless and most of the townspeople. (Shy) However, she also succeeds in offending the Queen, who vows to find a way to stop her.
The Queen, assisted by her Wizard sidekick, quickly designs Winnifred’s secret “test.” They will place a tiny pea beneath twenty thick downy mattresses. If Winnifred is unable to sleep due to the pea, then she will be sensitive enough to marry Dauntless. (Sensitivity) Later, the king pantomimes to the Minstrel and the Jester that Larkin is pregnant, he tells them to not say a word, but they both are more worried about the king saying something, because even though he’s mute, he can still communicate. (The Minstrel, the Jester, and I).
Meanwhile, Winnifred tells Dauntless and the ladies in waiting about her home in the swamp (Swamps of Home). Then, after spilling a flower vase, Winnifred is caught cleaning the mess by Lady Larken who mistakes her for a chambermaid. Soon Harry gets mad at Larken for her mistake and they get in a fight. Larken vows that she’ll run far far away where she’ll never see him again.
Then The king, the Minstrel and the Jester catch Larkin trying to run away, and they all try to stop her (Normandy). Later that night, the queen throws a ball so Winnifred can dance the (Spanish Panic.)The wicked Queen hopes that Winnifred will tire herself to sleep, but the plan fails. Winnifred is the last one standing as everyone collapses with exhast at the song’s climax. Dauntless admits that he loves Winnifred, who mentions that her nickname is Fred (Song of Love.)
During the late night, the Queen leads the knights and ladies to carry the twenty mattress to Fred’s room (Quiet), while Fred and Dauntless study for the test, and Fred convinces Larken to fix things with Harry. Larken leaves to find Harry, Dauntless bids Fred goodnight, and now she is left alone. While studying a fairytale, she complains about how other fairy tale princess’ had it easy and how she want’s to live (Happily Ever After.) Later, Dauntless and King Sextimus have a (Man to Man Talk) about the birds and the bees, while the Jester and Minstrel trick the Wizard into telling them of the test (The Potion) and the Jester reminisces about his father’s dancing days (Very Soft Shoes).
Sir Harry and Lady Larken run into each other and they confess that their love is stronger than ever (Yesterday I Loved You.) When Fred finally takes the test, the queen brings in the Nightengale of Samarkand to sing her to sleep (Nightengale Lullabye) but Winnifred cannot fall asleep. It seems that there is some “lump” under the mattresses that is keeping her from relaxing.
She drowsily confronts the Queen the next morning, but Aggravaine insists that the test was rigged. Dauntless tells Aggravaine to “shut up,” and the curse on King Sextimus is lifted (the “mouse,” or Dauntless, thus devours the “hawk,” or Aggravaine). Aggravaine discovers that she cannot talk, and Dauntless and Winnifred are free to be married. The Wizard falls for the King’s charm and wit, and leaves the poor Queen hopelessly hopping and skipping on stage. (Finale)
In the final seconds of the play, the real reason why Winnifred passed the test is revealed. After learning about the test, the King, Minstrel, and Jester stuffed the mattresses full of weapons, jousting equipment, and other sharp items. All the items are removed by the Jester in the Finale. After the items are removed Winnifred still has trouble sleeping until Dauntless takes the pea out from under the mattress, when she then falls asleep almost immediately. Everyone, in classic fairy-tale tradition, lives happily ever after.
